“Ask The Expert” With Dr. Karen Hill-Scott 09/30/2010

Hi Parents – I know that many of you have asked some great questions on Facebook and Twitter. There was one question that really caught my attention because it comes up in almost every family at some point during their children’s lives.

Marissa Neilson wrote, “If I were to get my daughter (8-months) a pet that she can grow up with, what would be the best pet? (one that if she beats on it a little it will still be fine, not attack, etc.). Thanks!”

A very popular question, Marissa! So many parents wonder about the right way to introduce pets into a growing family. I would recommend that if you want your daughter to have a pet, wait until she expresses an interest in animals and asks for a pet that she can help take care of and co-own with you. It will benefit the family in the end as she will be more attached to the pet and careful about accidentally provoking or hurting the animal. If YOU want a pet (which means another baby to take care of) then here are a few points to keep in mind.

1. Start by researching the kinds of animals you love and how each of these animals interacts with infants and young children.

2. Expose your child to animals through your social relationships with other pet owners or by visiting a pet foster care program where you don’t have the responsibility of permanent ownership.

3. Observe your baby’s reactions to the animals you like. If there is a lot of fear and withdrawal now, pet ownership is a project that can be postponed until your child is older.

4. Be mindful of possible allergies your child might have to certain animals, especially furry ones.

5. Your pet, your child, and your family will truly benefit from training the animal. Lots of accidents occur because the pet and the child have not had the training to live together as friends. And by the way, good pet training is not cruel to your animal. Many types of pets want to earn your approval for appropriate behavior and being trained increases pet and owner safety.

Best of luck with your decision! Most of all be fair to yourself, your baby, and the animal by seriously exploring your options. Pets add endless joy to our lives, and our gratitude to the animals is to choose the right pet at the right time before adding one to the family.

Thanks to everyone for their questions. Look out for our next Q&A session on Facebook and Twitter when another question will be selected and I’ll always provide very practical solutions based on research and experience. I welcome feedback and look forward to “chatting” again soon.

Best Wishes,
Dr. Karen Hill-Scott

Mommy Brain 09/16/2009

“I was in Portland recently for a family event and promised I’d join my daughter and her friends for a half-marathon in a town named improbably, Helvetica.  Who would name their town after a font, or was it the other way around?  The girls in the running club (including my daughter) looked at me quizzically when I brought this up because, of course, the town is not Helvetica, but Helvetia, an old Roman word for Switzerland, which is the national origin of the first immigrant settlers to this verdant farming community just northwest of Portland.

This sidetrack into the town name relates to my main point about brain function.  Sometimes we try to make what we see or hear conform to our expectation.  I’m on a computer most of the day, so I read the town name as Helvetica.  But sometimes we have to do just the opposite– make adjustments in our thinking based on reality.

As our group drove to Helvetia, my new friends talked about the running club, reviewed who was doing what with each mom’s kids while we spent half the day at the race, and took inventory of our supplies to see if we were missing anything. That’s when one of the moms, who has a baby and a 3-year-old, brought up the subject of memory and motherhood.

“What is it about having babies that makes your brain go kaput?  I swear I’m always looking for something I forgot or I’ve forgotten something that I knew I needed.” As I listened to the group echoing their frustration about memory overload and memory loss, my thoughts ran right back to the days of having to keep up with 4 sets of kiddie gear, food, and clothing just so I could run errands for a couple of hours.  It was really an undue burden or an otherwise alert mind.

But I also immediately realized that while the moms were preoccupied with memory loss, there’s something to be said about the brain gain moms get shortly after the first baby is born.  It’s call RADAR  (a Relational Aptitude for Detecting Activity and Reactivity). Now, RADAR idea isn’t a proven scientific fact.  It’s just a personal observation.  But it does seem to make sense; at least for most moms.

Mommy RADAR is a very special feature of the Mommy Brain.  When a baby cries you know if it’s a hungry cry, or a “come and get me” cry.  If the sound changes in a room, you know to check on baby because either she’s up to something or has fallen sound asleep.  Your RADAR brain function is just as important as that ability to remember burp cloths in the same moment that you are looking for your keys.  So if you have to give up a little bit of memory in order to keep your kids under continuous surveillance, it’s not such a bad swap.

So, when you’re beating yourself up because you think you’ve become a total mess just stop and adjust your thinking based on your reality.  Reflect on this mantra. “I am competent, I can manage, my brain works.” After all, you do have RADAR.”

-By Dr. Karen Hill Scott

Dr. Karen Hill Scott 09/09/2009

Let’s face it—parenthood is a complex role that often combines exhilaration and exhaustion in the same breath. Charting a course through the ups and downs can definitely be a challenge, especially if you are new to it all!

That’s where Dr. Karen Hill Scott comes in. She’s a child development consultant to The Baby Einstein Company. As a mother of four, a grandmother of eight (with one more on the way!), she combines the best of her “book smarts” with deep, practical experience, and provides down-to-earth commentary on babies, child-rearing, and parental life too. When she’s not advising us on parent-baby together time, she teaches at UCLA and serves on the board of the Foundation for Child Development.

We are happy to announce that she will be adding her wise voice to this site regularly. Down the road, be on the lookout for Dr. Scott’s great tips, anecdotes, and insights!

-The Baby Einstein Team